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Anyone who’s ever been through some rough times (who hasn’t?) will agree that we all need others around us. Kudos to the macho men and wonder women out there, who always have it all under control and never need to reach out to any other soul for help and support. But the overwhelming majority of us ain’t like that.
Friends (good ones I mean) are a real blessing from God. I believe with all my heart that any person without genuine friends is missing out on one of life’s greatest joys. We’re made for relationships. Come to think of it, your very existence is the result of a ‘relationship’ (wink) between your parents! So why shy away from relationships?
Recently I had a brief chat with five gorgeous ladies on the subject of friendships and relationships. Here’s what they had to say.
Meet my Guests
Precious, 25, Network Administrator
Lawrenta, 22, Student
Blesssing, 26, Engineer
Mercy, Corps Member
Lati, 26, Software Consultant
What are the top 5 qualities you look for in a potential friend?
Lawrenta: God-fearing, Possess good character, a strong motivator, positive mentality towards life and people, caring, nice and very smart.
Blessing: Good communication, trustworthy, tolerant, understanding and God-fearing.
Latifat: God-fearing, honesty, truthful, caring, loving, zealous
Precious: Must love God, literate, presentable, good sense of humour, no mood swings (emotionally stable)
Mercy: Must know Jesus Christ, must have positive thinking, must be hardworking/skillful, should have something I can learn from, must keep good company apart from myself.
What’s one offence from a friend that can instantly end the friendship?
Lawrenta: That I don’t know o… I don’t think there is anything that a friend will do to me that will make me end my friendship with that friend. I believe that’s why there is forgiveness.
Latifat: Deceit. I mean lies, being cunning, playing on my emotions.
Blessing: I guess betrayal might make me lose trust in a friend. But for me, my anger doesn’t really last so I could forgive and move on. if I can communicate with you and trust you, it means I can tell you anything. If I confide in you and find out you told me out or fine tuned the story to make you seem good, then trust is broken. If there is no trust, there’s no real friendship. Just acquaintance.
Precious: Lies and broken trust. If I confide in a friend and I hear what I said from someone else.
Mercy: Pretence, especially when it comes to their faith. You know some people pretend to be who they are not because of the kind of people they ‘pally’ with. I don’t like such persons, so I can’t keep such friendships because we are on different boats.
If someone (same sex) is trying to become your friend, but you’re not interested in becoming friends with that person, how would you handle it?
Lawrenta: I’ll tell her my mind. But in a nice way, in order not to make her feel bad. First, there must be some reasons why I’m not interested. I’ll point out those things and make her understand why I’m not interested.
Latifat: Keep my distance. If they persist, I might give them a chance but it’ll still be a distant relationship.
Blessing: I’d ignore or avoid the person. Sooner or later, she’d get the message.
Mercy: I will handle it from the spiritual angle. I will tell God to take the person away from me without me hurting the person with my words or actions. But one thing I also did was to start avoiding her. Actually, I changed routes because of her (and she noticed). I don’t talk unless I’m asked a question and she eventually left; though she still calls me her friend. She just noticed I wanted space and she gave me that.
Precious: I won’t send the person off, will just try to give her straight forward answers to questions. Won’t allow room for conversation so with that, the person will know that I am not interested in her friendship.
What’s the best thing a friend (same sex) has ever done for you?
Lawrenta: Let me try and think, don’t really know…(minutes later) can’t remember any (some minutes later) seriously, none I can remember
Blessing: (She) told me the plain truth even when I was expecting her to take sides with me
Mercy: Prayed for me when I was down and depressed and was always by me, comforting me.
Precious: Shared my problems with her and I got results
Latifat: Don’t know o
What’s the best thing a friend (opposite sex) has ever done for you?
Blessing: Told me how wrongly I have been living and showed me how to reconcile myself with God. That’s the best thing.
Mercy: He spoke to me to the extent that I had the courage to call off an unholy relationship. That’s the best thing I’ve had in my entire life.
Lawrenta: None I can remember
Latifat: Speaking the truth about myself to me, understanding who Latifat truly is, ready to be a shoulder I cry on when I’m troubled and a face to smile to when I’m excited.
Precious: Sealing our friendship with a ring. He is my best friend.*blushing*
How would YOU respond to these questions? Kindly leave your comments below.
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