The reactions to last week’s post titled On The Issue of Testing have been quite interesting. Click here to read the post and comments. Online and offline conversations that followed threw up engaging discussions and what you’re about to read is one of such exchanges. My friend, Kay and I got talking about the subject of relationships and all the drama it throws up. We also got into the subject of faithfulness in relationships and with her consent, I share this with you today.

The conversation has been edited to suit publication but its main contents remain intact. Read. Learn. Contribute. Enjoy!

Ik:  So, so what gist do you have for me tonight? I’m in listening mode

Kay: Really? Nothing

Ik: Hian! Don’t just bring that leg this night o

Kay: for real…eya…bring up something

Ik: Did you see what I posted on your (facebook) timeline? (the blog post)

Kay: yea…do people actually do that?

Ik: yea…

Kay: that’s interesting. To me, it doesn’t make any sense sha.

Ik: It doesn’t have to…people do all kinds of things

Kay: (But I feel) whatever you want to know, time will tell. Something will just come up somehow

Ik: time doesn’t tell everything o…unless you’re ready to wait for a loooong time

Kay: what if the person calculatively passes all the tests and you later find out it was all a game?

Ik: that’s the thing with testing…and all other such ‘strategies’ we develop as humans…they’re limited

Kay: very limited

Ik: yup…so how will you (Kay) be able to gauge a guy’s commitment/seriousness if you don’t test?

Kay: *scratching my head*

Kay: Seriously, I don’t know. But irrespective of all that, it’s about who I like. It doesn’t always have to be the person with the smartest moves

Ik: Okay…simple question. You said it’s about who you like abi? Would you go into/stay in a relationship with someone whose commitment you’re unsure of despite the fact that you like the person?

Kay: nope

Ik: so how come you said “it’s about who I like”?

Kay: I’ll just be looking at you. I believe if I’m important to you, it’ll show

Ik: But you know you can be important to the person yet they’re not 100% committed

Kay: I doubt. Then the person is not serious

Ik: Have you ever heard the saying that it’s possible for a guy to love let’s say 2 ladies to the same degree?

Kay: heard that

Ik: do you think it’s T or F?

Kay: I don’t believe it sha…but you’re a guy. You’re in a better position to say

Ik: you never answer me straight…loll…do you think that statement is T or F?

Kay: F

Ik: okay

Kay: As a guy, is it true or false?

Ik: Girl, it’s 100% true!

Kay: really?

Ik: surprised?

Kay: yea

Ik: *smiling*…tonight, you’ll understand guys a bit better… I’ll share with you for free…loll

Kay: Loll…I’m all ears

Ik: too bad I have just like 10 mins here (online)

Kay: kk…we’ll keep the gist till tomorrow

Ik: just have it in mind sha…that the guy loves you doesn’t mean he does not/cannot love someone else at exactly the same time…#fact. But there’s something missing in the statement above…na tomorrow we go face that one

Kay: hehehehe…see suspense

Ik: but before then, just go dey think how you go take pay for the tutorial.

Kay: things in life are free

Ik: nothing good/valuable comes easy. Proverb vs. Proverb

Kay: Loll

Ik: time to bounce…have a beautiful night

Kay: nice night

Look out for the concluding part of our discussion by 7pm tonight. But before then, what do you think? Guys, is Ik’s statement about multiple love interests true? Ladies, what’s your take on this? The comment box is right below- eager to read yours.


14 thoughts on “On The Issue Of Testing Part 2 (My Chat With Kay)

Add yours

  1. Of course its true,2 ladies can stir ur EMOTIONS equally,that’s d thing called love as it relates 2 relationships in most people’s vocabulary.(Emotions r fickle,like d weather),but d dividing line has to be something more concrete n substantial,like faith,values,priorities,compatibility n mutual though a guy/lady can be emotionally attracted 2 2ladies/guys @ d same time,they would be emotionally immature 2 think its to me is d sustained direction of d will 2wards d good of another


    1. Theodora, are you saying that emotional attraction has NOTHING to do with love? (“they would be emotionally immature to think its love”)…I’d beg to differ on that…I think no matter how we look at it, love always has the emotional element in it…now whether it’s the WHOLE thing or just A PART is another matter all together…


      1. Well,its part of luv,so also is d phileoo(friendship),and agape luv(unconditional love),my point is it is emotionally immature to think that just cause u feel sometn 4 some1 it means u luv d person,but that’s not d substance.4 me real love goes like this-agape love brought 2gda by friendship,and bound by emotional attraction.lemme put it this way,d 2 parties have unconditional love arbenitio in their hearts(that’s a love that loves just because its love),then friendship brings them 2gda,bcuz they share common intrests,priorities and values,then d emotional attraction says I feel sometn 4 u,that makes me want to be with u,for me that’s d sequence,and that’s love


  2. Ik, I vehemently disagree wil wit u on ds issue, sir, in as much as two persons can neva be alyk, its not possible to love two gurls equaly evn wen its cums to ur children u cnt love dem equally


    1. Hmmm…this ‘vehement disagreement’ is interesting…many, many guys will tell you that it’s possible…are you saying their experiences are invalid?
      Besides, what really makes it impossible? Just curious.


    1. K-faKto, it’s not over yet. Remember to check again at 7pm tonight for the concluding part…I totally get what you mean…Kay was absolutely shocked when she read my position on the issue. I’m sure many others will too…interesting how our minds work in distinct ways..


  3. I level wit Ikhide 100%….. Men naturally re promiscious and re moved by sight. Depending on what apeals to us, we re capable of loving more than two women wit the same level of intensity. Staying truthful and faithful in a commited relationship is a self-concious choice and take a great deal of discipline to uphold…… Mehn now I am begining to apreciate Dr. Myles Monroe statement more………. “the number one cause of stress in humans is RELATIONSHIPS”


    1. Frank, thanks for ‘leveling with me’…however, as for the ‘men are naturally promiscous’ part, you are O.Y.O…that’s not from me o…lolll…appreciate your comment though. Thanks.


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