It should have been a routine ride home on a Tuesday evening. I should have been too tired; struggling to keep awake as my fatigue battled the irritating rattlings and rantings from the engine and other passengers. It should have been a normal evening. Instead it turned out to be an experience that will live with me forever.
The wind slapped hard against my moist face. I felt the dust cling to my pores; but wetin man go do? The glassless window left me no choice but to endure my ordeal with a prayer to get home ten minutes ago. As my thoughts drifted, they fell on a rather ‘strange’ subject. Love.
Strange, because they should have landed on a much-needed dinner, or a cold shower, or the possibility of owning my own ride by the next day or something along those lines. Strange because they fell, not just on love, but on God’s love for me. Strange because while I know God loves me (every believer knows that right?), I’d never really r-e-a-l-l-y thought about it in a deliberate way. I just sat there, semi-lost in a world of my own. The thought took hold of me, pulling me away from the bus. It enticed me to examine its deeper significance…and my curiousity won over my exhaustion.The rattlings and rantings seemed to fade away; like someone turned down the volume of a TV set.
Then it happened.
As I write this, I paused after that last sentence- the memories are flooding in all over again. It’s still an incredible feeling till this day.
Right there, on that bus ride, I felt the love of God. I mean I LITERALLY felt his love- physically and emotionally. It felt like a warm blanket of affection, so, soooooooo pure, goose bumps popped up all over me in an instant. My heart felt like someone took a jar full of joy and perfect satisfaction and poured it all over me. Whooosh. What a feeling! I just couldn’t stand it. It felt like I’d explode into a million molecules of excitement! Sitting straight was out of the question. How could I under that atmosphere? Bowing over my backpack that sat on my thighs, I dug my face into its fabric to muffle the sounds of worship escaping helplessly from my lips. The rattling engine helped conceal my mini-outbursts. I just couldn’t help it.
The ‘blanket’ lingered over me. That bus lost a passenger for a while because I was there but I wasn’t there at all! With every muffled expression of worship, the currents ran through all over me again. It felt like a million tiny pulses of soft electricity coursing through my system-and it was beautiful.
That Tuesday evening, “God loves me” took on a w-h-o-l-e new meaning. I’ve always known it but now, I’d been privileged to taste what that felt like. And I’m grateful for it.
I know I cannot live in the realm of my feelings (for we walk by faith and not by sight[or feelings]) but boy, that experience was sure out of this world! I had no control over it, I didn’t ask for it. He just gave it. And when I stepped off that bus, I knew deep within me that my heart had been touched with a special gift.
God loves you, friend. I wish I could sit with you over a cold drink to tell you this in person. He loves you like….infact, words are hopelessly inadequate to describe. He loves you like….like crazy. Take all the love of your parents, siblings, friends, gf/bf….multiply it a million times over…and it still wouldn’t meet up with His! Oh goodness, you need to know this. Never, ever feel one bit less than special- the Father is madly, deeply, completely, in love with you. And He wants you to know that too.
Welcome to His love.
Live by Design