A few weeks back, I did promise this would be the subject of my next blog on relationships. In case you just returned to earth (loll…) and somehow missed my last post, catch it right here.
Okay. Submission. You’d think that in today’s culture, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. Think again. I’ve witnessed this subject lead to very lively arguments discussions, especially within the modern African setting where the tension between traditional values and western ideologies are presently creating a new kind of African youth, a hybrid of some sorts.
Culturally in this part of the world (Africa), the female gender has almost always been expected to play second fiddle to their male counterparts. With expanding education and exposure to other cultures, more and more women find the idea of being less than a man in any way extremely offensive. In the corporate world, big business, politics and every other major sphere of life, more women are rising to the highest levels of power. However, our subject today is SUBMISSION WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF A ROMANTIC (I mean COMMITTED) RELATIONSHIP.
Some believe that a lady should still submit to her husband as a subordinate of some sorts. Others contend that both are equal in every respect and should hold equal levels of authority and responsibility in the relationship.
But is it really, (like r-e-a-l-l-y) possible to have two people with EXACTLY the same level of authority in a relationship? Is it possible to have both as the leaders? Okay, where do we draw the line? These are serious questions that are worth your consideration.
I’m sorry to say (actually, I’m not that sorry) but the clergy (which interestingly, is primarily made up of men) have somehow not helped much in this regard. Using the bible, some have bludgeoned wives (present and would-be) with these words:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,…(Ephesians 5:23)
With passionate words and sometimes extreme examples, they have hammered on the subject to the point it sometimes evokes feelings of resentment and rebellion even in otherwise calm and collected ladies. What’s your understanding of the biblical concept of submission? These are the things you want to talk over with your intended. What’s his/her concept of submission? Does it encompass every aspect of life or are certain areas labelled ‘Out of Bounds’? For example, can YOU (yea I mean you reading this right now) surrender ALL your earnings to the other person? I’ve heard stories (I’m sure you have too) of couples where the wife turns her entire paycheque over to her husband and others where the husband entrusts his wife with all his earnings.
Where does submission start and where does it end for you? Think about it, talk it over with your intended (share this blog with them as a conversation starter if you feel awkward just bringing this up out of the blues). The assumptions people carry as they enter into long-term, committed relationships can be quite shocking. This is one subject you’d want to build a common understanding with him/her before exchanging vows of life-long commitment. Is he expecting a ‘Sarah-like’ wife that will reverence him as ‘Lord’*? Does she believe in ‘your money is OURS but mine is mine’? How does he/she respond when their judgement/decision is questioned? Obviously, you CANNOT know all about the other person beforehand but don’t you think it’s worth giving a try to clear some basics together before taking things to the next level?
This may seem all far away in the future right now but it’s scary how time flies when emotions are soaring. Before you say jack, you’re already picking out a dress and a reception venue. So don’t wait too long. Discuss this with your friends. Listen to what they have to say. What does the bible REALLY say about submission? How is it really described in there? Learn and grow your wisdom bank. And don’t forget to share your initial thoughts with me about this subject. The comment section is just below.
Have a great relationship!
*1 Peter 3:6 (KJV)
Live by Design.
BBM : 514C3DD7