Hhaaahhh…love and relationships; probably the hottest topic among young people (or is it money?). In a few hours, February 14 will be here again. Some await its arrival and others crave its departure! You’ve probably heard the jokes about guys (why always us?) absconding or cooking up incredible ‘reasons’ to be unavailable that day but truth be told, the need to impress that special someone that special day can be pretty intense (that’s just my thought sha). In this short story, I share an experience I had a while back and thoughts on an all-too-common attitude plaguing the guy-girl thing. Enjoy!
My bum felt uncomfortably warm. That’s the price you pay for occupying the front seat in a commercial bus in Lagos- especially those with the engines right under the passenger seat. Imagine those turbine-like engine blades spinning fiercely just right under you, less than half a metre away *shudders*. Anyways, my long legs appreciated the extra room to stretch- you stretch some, you heat up others. Such is life.
A familiar aroma wafts across, slapping me gently. It was from the girl by me. Unconscious of what she had done to my attention, she innocently unwrapped a capsule of my favorite candy (I won’t tell you the brand! loll) and popped it through her glossy lips. With the innocence of a child, my eyes trailed the journey of hand to mouth- and got stuck there for a few seconds (who was even counting, sef?).
I wanted one of those. But how? I definitely COULD afford a pack full of those tiny tablets of delight, but somehow I wanted it from her. Now how do I ask her? A perfect stranger, a perfect stranger in Lagos, a perfect stranger in Lagos who happens to be a young girl (definitely in her 20’s), a young AND beautiful stranger-girl in a Lagos bus. You get the idea sha.
But I had to get ‘my’ sweet. So I did the obvious.
“Hope you bought mine sha”
She smiled, “yes”.
Hand in bag. Hand out of bag.
Few seconds later, my tongue felt that sweet sensation all over again. Yippee!!!
I share this story because of how the young lady reacted to my request; compared to the ‘typical’ response. A guy barely says ‘hello’ and Ms. Gorgeous activates defense mode. It’s funny, sometimes you could actually ‘see’ the change as the ‘back off’ signals pop up. Relax. Probably all he wants to do is ask an innocent question, strike up a simple conversation, or like me, ask for a teeny tiny favour.
Contrast this with a friend’s experience. He somehow ran into an old classmate from waaay back and tried to introduce himself. Unfortunately, the girl who thought otherwise started acting funny like “please, please, please, abeg I don’t have time for that” (you know how ladies do that – with the ‘talk to the hand’ pose and attitude to match..loll). My friend was obviously embarrassed at her reaction and showed it in his words.
“Are you not (mentions her name) from (mentions the school)”? We attended the same school. By then, she realised she’d misjudged the whole thing. Too bad the guy was in no mood for an apology. He vented a bit and the surprise meet ended on a sore note. Probably he over-reacted. Probably she did. What do you think?
Dear ladies, not every guy who says hi has an ulterior motive. Some of us just want to be friendly- with no strings attached. We’re not going to ask for your number, PIN or start plotting a way to get in your pants. It may be hard to resist, but I think stereotyping every guy who comes around as wanting that thing may not be the best way to relate with the sons of Adam.
Here’s what I feel: don’t judge too quickly, try not to read too much into a kind/nice gesture, tone down on the hostility (until it you’re sure he needs it to get his head straightened out) and just be the cute, nice, accessible diva that we know you are. Can you do that for us, please?
-A Guy’s Thoughts
Thank you for reading today. I’d like to read your comments and any similar experiences you’ve had (either as a guy or a girl). Let’s get talking.
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