I. Love. You.

Do you remember the very first time you said those three words? I don’t mean when your pastor forced you to profess affection for the person sitting next to you and you just had to say it with a dry smile so you won’t look like a bad person. No, no. You know the soft, tender-eyed, can-barely-speak-cos-my-heart-is-beating-so-fast bedroom voice variety? Yes, that’s the one I’m talking about.

I’m laughing as I write this because the first girl I ever said those words to (and meant it, I guess) is now married – obviously not to me…loll. Hah…life sha.

Love is a beautiful thing that takes on a deeper meaning when it is sincerely expressed. But looking at it again, I can’t help but wonder what we really mean when we say those three words. What are we really trying to tell the other person?

My curiosity led me to chat with a few gorgeous ladies who graciously let me peek into that labyrinth called the female mind.

I asked two questions:

  1. When you tell him “I love you”, what do you really mean?
  2. When a guy says “I love you”, what do you think he’s trying to say?

What you’re about to read are their responses. Being a guy, I couldn’t help inserting my reaction to some of the comments along the way (you’ll hear my voice in the brackets).

Okay ladies, over to you.



“When I say I love you to that special one,  I mean I have seen everything about that person and I am satisfied with it. Even when some things about him isn’t okay, I trust God to help me get rid of it; that is seeing him through God’s eyes not with my physical eyes and God saying,  “yes he is the one and I will help you through those odd sides of his”. -Ruthy


“For me, it means I can’t do anything to hurt the person because I love him.”-Debbie


“It means I cherish and appreciate everything (errrthing? Lucky dude!) about him and I’m ready to put myself out there for him, and that I am ready to spend my life with him.

When he says he loves me, what I think he means is that he adores me, cannot live without me, is ready to forgive my errors, that I am the only woman he sees, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me”. -Queen


“I’ll start with the second part.

In the part of the world I am from (Nigeria),  it’s rare for a man to use the words “I Love you (*coughs*).

For most,  they’ll simply say “I care about you” or “I like you alot.”

So when I find a guy who says he loves me, then it’s either he’s just saying it or he deeply means it. 

When I say “I love you” to that special someone,  I really do mean it.  It always, always stands the test of time.  I’ve learned that love is an immeasurable force that can’t be reckoned with. We can’t force it.

My Love means accepting another person in the strongest way possible. It means supporting them in anything and everything, even when I may not agree on the situation.

My “I Love you” means not looking for something better or seeing what’s out there (Love is truly blind). It means trusting him in every way possible and earning his reciprocal trust in me.

When I say “I love you”,  I mean loving myself too. Being confident and dependent of who I am. It’s a feeling of completeness and power with the other person that brings a sort of reassurance. 

Love is a choice so when I say so, it’s because I choose to love you for who you are today and tomorrow.”-Oghale (Ermm…Oghale, where can we buy your book? Loll)


“Personally I am an extremist. So when I say I love someone, I mean it or I won’t say it all. I am never under any pressure to say what is on my mind. I am saying “I love you” because I want to say it (Chai! I like this – straight to the point).

I believe it’s the same approach with whoever I choose to be with. Birds of the same feather must flock together. Though I may not fully know the person 100%, but I trust whatever he says.

I don’t like distrust in a relationship. It limits the performance of both parties. This is just my honest opinion.” -Precious


“First, sorry for the late reply…wanted to settle down before writing.

When I say “I love you” to that special person, I mean I see beyond your flaws, I choose to care about you, be generous to you, help you, get involved in all of you, we would have misunderstandings but I choose to settle and keep loving you. You are worth my time, calls and words.

When the other pperson.tells me “I love you”, He should mean “Cheta, I trust you, care about you, want to get involved with you; good or bad, give you all I have within my reach, lay my life for you (if he’s the hubby..yes! because Christ laid his life for the church and the Bible tells Husbands to love their wives in the same manner, likewise lay his life for me too😉..).

I use that word “choose” because yes! We choose to love and choose who we love.” -Cheta


“When I say I love you to that special person … I mean… You are everything to me.

And when the other person says I love you… It means the same thing; like I can give my whole life for you.” -Joy


“When I say “I love you” to someone, I mean love someone, most times this feeling is so deep that you get to a point that you can’t explain….it’s like your heart is totally sold out to that person

When he says he loves me, it depends on his sincerity. If he is sincere (since I’m not him), I would just say he is totally into me… and what he feels is very deep compared to what he would feel normally towards someone else.” -Tosin

“”I love you” from me, mean I am ready to accept you and all that you represent.

From him, I think it means “I will cherish you and be there for you always””. -Anon


“Personally, I mean I have affection for and I care a lot about you.

I think when he says it, it’s the same as the one stated above.” -Oluwakemi

Ayomide Page
Ayomide Page

“When I say I love you (which I haven’t said yet), I mean that I really care about you and I’m willing to commit my life to you (hence I’m saving it for my wedding or very close to it).

When he said he loves me, I interpreted it to mean, “I really care about you and I’m committed to you so that our courtship isn’t just a fling but a relationship I honestly hope to build.” -Ayomide Page

Now it’s your turn. What do you mean when you say “I love you” and what do you think the other person means when they say it? You could throw this into conversations with your friends (or your special someone) and see what you learn along the way. The ‘revelations’ may turn out to be very interesting. But before you do that, let’s catch up in the comments section.

Love Live by Design.




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