We are works in progress on our way to becoming masterpieces. However rough the sketch appears, a painting of incomparable beauty is emerging from it.
For some of us, the lives we lead holds no attraction for us. We would give anything to become someone else.
The minutes spent before the mirror wishing we could change just one thing about the way we look, the moments just before we sleep when we remember all the harmful and angry words hurled at us, the feelings of self-pity when we meet a ‘better’ person.
Pieces of pain, hurt, heartbreak, rejection, depression and abuse have come together over the years to form an ugly mosaic that represents us.
Angry voices are speaking in our heads, taunting and telling us we’ll never be good enough or reminding us just how dumb we are and how the sorry excuse of life we live will never amount to anything and we see ourselves through foggy lenses of shame and ugliness. Persons whose lives are too messy to be loved, rejected people whom the world has no need for.
I understand. I lived years struggling with self-esteem, acceptance and self-image. I felt I was not good enough and sometimes, these feelings were fuelled by well-meaning remarks from friends and relatives or sarcastic, hateful words from people. I would have long bouts of depression, walk bow-headed and spend most of my nights crying, dreaming about the perfect life I wished was mine.
That was until Jesus saved me from myself (yeah, He does that too) and helped me see me through His eyes.
I learnt that if we feel detachment, disapproval or disgust, it is really a projection of our self-image, not how Jesus feels about us because when He looks at us no matter how we feel about ourselves, He feels love and delight, not shame. Definitely, not shame.
God loves us all as broken as we are even when we think we are undeserving of love. And if we let Him, He will work through our shattered lives, not minding that the ragged ends of our broken lives drive through His divine hands and draw blood and bring wholeness to us.
I remember hearing someone say that a vessel can never be marred in the hands of the potter. Though it looks marred at the moment, He is not known for bad jobs, He is moulding a vessel of inestimable beauty. Hold on, you will come out glorious. I still have moments when I struggle with self-image but I am learning that my worth comes from God and at those moments, this realisation is enough.
Some days back, I came across something I wrote in my diary about two years ago. It read “Who am I? I am an awesome, unique person because God is not in the business of making junk”.
Think about that. He is not in the business of making junk.
Live by Design.