Hey Sis,

How’s your day going? I’m still brimming with the excitement from two days back. Wow, you’ve grown so much since the last time! I’m sure the boys are heavily on your case. That’s not entirely bad I must say. Just be careful.

But that’s not why I’m writing today Sis. See, because I deeply care about you, I notice everything about you (well, almost everything…alright, alright most things) and as much as I can, I’ll speak up in balanced mix of love, truth and wisdom when it is necessary.

Sis, unless my eyes are getting too old, I noticed you were looking kinda different. Fairer to be precise. But I had to hold myself back. The thought of you going through the rest of the day extremely self-conscious was too much to bear. But in the privacy of our letters, let’s talk about this girl.

So you used to be my Chocolate Chic, remember? Your glowing, deep brown skin had me silently praying to have a daughter that looked just like you (don’t let your head swell). But not anymore. Okay, at least not as much as before.

What’s happening Sis? What have you been doing to your body? Why can’t I look at your face and not fail to notice the different colours? Why does your skin, once glistening, the perfect external coating for your gorgeous body now display signs of forced lightening? Why do some body parts appear wrinkled, frail and tortured by I don’t know what?

Wait a minute. Don’t tell me you now also believe their lies that to be attractive, you have to be fairer than ten thousand. Don’t tell me you’ve swallowed that crap about “men being attracted to light-skinned ladies”. As a man, that just makes my blood boil. It’s so so annoying to hear it, let alone watch my dear Sis buy into that festering truckload of manure.

But wait. I need to get a hold of myself. Let’s do it this way. Let me risk developing a migraine by believing that lie for a minute. I know it will be hard on my mind, but I will try.

Let’s say for instance, it IS true that the generality of the male population are drawn towards your lighter-skinned peers.

So what?!!!

I’m thinking. Do you want “men” in your life or the right man?

I’ll wait while you read that again Sis.

What’s your business with what “men” are attracted to when you only need a man, THE man? Do you realise that the right man will be drawn to more than your skin tone? ¬†Has it dawned on you that he, whose core attraction is your dermal pigmentation doesn’t even deserve you in the first place? He doesn’t. If you have to look like someone else to get or keep him, maybe you don’t need him afterall. Have you considered this?

You’re a stunning reflection of a loving God. Embrace it because it’s true. Don’t give in to the pressure of expectations from people too shallow to see beyond the colour of your skin. You’re beautiful just the way you are. You need not be someone else, my Dear. God loves you and accepts you in all your uniqueness. And guess what? The people He sends into your life (not the ones you try to work in or fit in with) will love you in like manner.

Quit trying to be the fairest of ten thousand Sis. You’re the daughter of the King. And He’s proud of you- always has. Always will be.

Cheers to my Chocolate Chic.

I love you.

Dedicated to every young woman 

Live by Design


4 thoughts on “NOTES TO MY SISTER (FAIREST OF 10,000?)

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  1. Yeah, we want the right man to love us beyond our skin colour but we can do anything for attention,to just get heads spinning in admiration whenever we walk in… daz why we are swift to follow trends and all that. . . .
    You have no idea how much a woman’s craving for attention can make her go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmmm… I wouldn’t even begin to pretend that I REALLY understand a woman’s crave for attention, but I recognise it.
      True, the desire to be noticed sometimes drives us (guys inclusive) to do things that aren’t ultimately best for us, but I believe that’s the essence of reminders like this.
      It is my hope that these notes help someone make the adjustments internally and on the outside as we all keep evolving into better versions of ourselves.

      Thanks for the candid comment.


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